We have all had our fair share of heartbreak, failed friendships, and rough patches, but as we move forward we learn from the mistakes we have made in the past and form new ways of developing and cultivating new and existing friendships. As we move forward in these relationships we learn to understand that all relationships should have purpose and that each person should be fully invested in the other persons growth. These Girl Power Guild-lines are created to give you a beginning point and a place to look when your friendships aren't quite turning out the way you would like.
The first guide-line we will be sharing with you is something we came up with to say when we are upset and want some sort of comfort. The story behind it follows:
I was given the opportunity to give a speech at the Veterans Day assembly at our high school, it was the night before the big day. I needed to find a formal outfit to wear on stage to give my speech, so I went shopping with my mom and a friend for an outfit. We went to several stores to find the 'perfect outfit', but nothing looked or felt good on me. We shopped till 9 pm the night before and I was making my mom and friend very upset at my indecision. I knew that I needed to pick an outfit and quick. The last store we walked into my mom picked up two skirts and two shirts and told me to try them on. I followed her demands and tried them on. I tried on both outfits and I liked the latter, but she didn't. She told me I was getting the first one and that we were leaving to go home. I felt defeated, upset, and really ugly in the outfit.
I got home and Taylor called me, she needed to borrow a dress because she was also giving a speech at the assembly. I explained to her over the phone how upset I was. When she got to my house she had the infamous PUMPKIN PIE! I tried on my outfit for her and tried to feel confident in it. I practiced my speech and we ate pumpkin pie while crying together.
This became a trend when I brought Taylor pumpkin pie, but this pumpkin pie wasn't in the form of literal pumpkin pie, it was a peppermint mocha.
So, to bring this into your own friendships/relationships here are the things to keep in mind:
1.) Pumpkin Pie doesn't have to be actual pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is a silent cry for help and a sly way to ask for comfort. We know the code word, so we know that something is wrong, big or small, and we act on it.
2.) When your friend has a breakup and she's torn on how to react, just distract!
Ex.) Taylor went through a breakup and she was distraught, so we took an hour and a half road trip at midnight to have our own little getaway. We jammed to T-Swift and had deep conversations about our lives and feelings about anything that came to our mind.
Things you can do: Pull to the side of the road, look at the stars, freeze your tush off, and jump back in the car that is too warm.
3.) Notice when your friends are down and make an effort cheer them up in a way that is unique to them.
Ex.) When your friend is in a bad mood, don't make them tell you what is wrong. Do something to cheer them up. You don't always have to know the details of the situation to have an impact.
Things you can do: Get their go-to coffee/tea, bring them a Lindor truffle, or simply give them a hug.
4.) Time is the most important gift you can give to someone.
Ex.) Showing up on time, being present, prioritizing, and actually attempting to set time aside for that person.
Things you can do: Set the coffee date, set a phone date, meet up (even if that means only five minutes).
5.) Relentless encouragement.
Ex.) We've all been there, we've all felt like nothing we do is making an impact, as if our daily routines are just so repetitive and well, boring. I, Taylor, can speak firsthand from the impact that a positive word or thought can have. I was feeling so discouraged and defeated, so Lea and I sat in her car and simply talked about Jesus - about what we've been through, and where we'll go. She told me that I was great and that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me. She told me to stop complaining and turn my night around. It lifted me up and by the time I walked into my bedroom, my entire outlook for the night had changed. I went to bed happy, and started my morning out right the next day. Friendships are meant to be empowering. They're meant to live life with people and encourage others - relentlessly.
Things you can do: write thank you letters, leave notes, compliment them on things that matter, and
let them know you love them without having to say it!
This series will continue for the next several weeks. We encourage you to follow the blog as we tell all. We hope that you will grow with us as we remember the past and enjoy our silly moments just as much as we do. Find positivity today!
follow our journey and always seek simplicity,
T & L